MY FAVORITE ALBUM OF THE WEEK!

Last week's new music releases were a letdown.

I was SO waiting for the new FALL OUT BOY album, which is one of my fave bands. And, well, they probably should have stayed broken up/retired. Now they pulled a Michael Jordan: Instead of going out with a bang, they got back in the game, and it was a shame! (Take that, Nicki Minaj!)

I also downloaded the new album from OLLY MURS and a few songs from the YEAH YEAH YEAHS, but nothing that made me jump out of my seat.

But this week...

After last week's disappointing new music releases, I wasn't expecting anything good. There weren't any albums I was really looking forward to, but I always listen to samples from artists I've never heard of because, hey, you just never know!!

And guess what???

One sample from THE NEIGHBOURHOOD led me to check out their whole album, and no joke--EVERY SONG WAS GOOD. I downloaded the entire album, and I've been listening to it over and over again. What an unexpected delight!! :)

Each song is really well done, but so similar in style that the entire album feels like one long song. I love albums which are like that! I've never heard of them before, and I just love accidentally stumbling upon a new album I adore!

Their sound probably might not be for everyone, but you'd be crazy not to at least give it a try.

Here's my favorite song on the album, SWEATER WEATHER.

My second fave song on the album is ALLEYWAYS, but seriously, all the songs are good.

Hope next week's releases are just as good or better! Anticipating a lot of great albums next week, including YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE and the acoustic version of Siberia from LIGHTS.

Happy listening :)

UNDERSTANDING CELEBRITY TATTOOS

Today, I am one step closer on my journey to becoming enlightened.

I've always wondered what makes McDonald's french fries taste sooo damn good. They're consistently voted as one of the best fries on the planet by fat asses everywhere. And, when they're not over salted, you toss out the little tiny super crispy ones that fall to the bottom, and ignore the super soggy bendy ones that are brown on the edges (even though I like those), they really are SUPER delicious and pretty much the perfect fry...

Until about 2 minutes pass and they turn into cardboard. Gross.

But if you eat a cold fry from anywhere else, like Carl's Jr. or Jack in the Box, the fry at least somewhat resembles its original taste and really isn't that bad. But not McDonald's.

That's when I realized that whatever makes McDonald's fries super delicious when they come out piping hot, must also make it super gross when they turn cold.

And that's when I finally understood Angelina Jolie's tattoo on her lower abdomen: "Quod me nutrit me destruit." Or, in the less cool English translation: "What nourishes me also destroys me."

Ahhh, yes McDonald's fry, yes Angelina, I understand now.

I will now carry this new knowledge as if Confucius said it himself.*

Now if I can only understand wtf Megan Fox's "We will all laugh at gilded butterflies" means I can officially retire.

*I'm also 1000% kidding if anyone is taking me seriously.

MUST READ - WOOL!!!

One of my favorite things in life is hearing about something, dismissing it, finding it again, and having it blow my mind.

This book did exactly that.

I first heard about WOOL from Entertainment Weekly (I subscribe and read religiously--mostly on the toilet LOL). There was a short article about how Hugh Howey, the author of WOOL, uploaded this little ebook (it's only 50 pages long! So no excuses for you "non-readers") to sell on Amazon.com, and without ANY marketing whatsoever, somehow managed to become a huge bestseller. So much so that the film rights have been sold to 20th Century Fox with Ridley Scott attached to direct (he has tons of known projects, Alien and Gladiator, just to name a few. Look him up on IMDB--yes, he's the big time, folks).

Soon, readers were begging Mr. Probably-Butt-Rich-Now-Howey for more and he expanded WOOL into a series (I believe there are 5 books in total, and a related 6th book set in the same world). And I'd have to say, after reading it last night, Hugh Howey deserves every drop of recognition he's been getting. 

So, how did I find this book again and eventually have it blow my mind?

After reading the Entertainment Weekly article sometime last year, I made a mental note to look up the book/author. I'm always intrigued to learn about how authors blow up by selling ebooks instead of going the traditional publishing route. I, myself, have been rejected year after year and am also now planning to go the ebook route. (Sometimes, you just want your book to be freaking read--by anyone!) But somehow I forgot about it and it just drifted into some far-off corner in the back of my mind. I'd like to say life got in the way, but really it was just TV, video games, and a few doctor-prescribed bong loads that got in the way.

Fast forward to yesterday night--I couldn't sleep because of a huge pounding headache. The boyfriend was sleeping next to me and I didn't want to wake him, so like an awesome girlfriend I just chose to read with my Kindle Paperwhite in the dark.

I started shopping for samples of books, wanting to actually read Wild by Cheryl Strayed since I heard about all the good reviews. I typed "W" in the search box and what do you know... WOOL popped up as a suggestion. Suddenly, my sober brain played connect-the-dots and I remembered the EW article. I clicked on it, still debating whether it was worth my time (after all, a few good books were in the running--World War Z, Wild, and Reconstructing Amelia) until I found out it was free. FREE, peoples, FREE! As in you get something for NOTHING. As in even if it's the crappiest thing ever written, you can still keep that last penny you were saving to throw into that fountain at the mall you always see (you know, the normal fountain turned wishing fountain because people saw running water contained inside some kind of stone and decided it was magical) and join the rest of the people who beg the spirits above to PLEASE LET ME AT LEAST BE SMARTER THAN RYAN LOCHTE. And even though I was well aware that authors reel you in by giving the first in the series away for free, and then having you pay for the rest, at some point you gotta ask yourself--what the heck is free these days? So I downloaded it. For FREE.

And as soon as I read the very first line, I was hooked: "The children were playing while Holston climbed to his death; he could hear them squealing as only happy children do."

How can you not be hooked with an opening line like that? And the rest of the book is written as well as the first line, if not better. Hugh Howey is not some stay-at-home mom who just happened to pop a book out of his ass. He's legit. Like 2 legit 2 quit. 

Well, I won't give any more away because I think this is one of those the-less-you-know-the-better-type stories. Just be prepared to blow through the 50 pages super quick, and believe me, you'll be thinking about the story long after you're done. Don't you love stories that do that to you?

Of course, I immediately downloaded 2-5 in the series (not free this time, but not bad at all--$5.99 for all of them). I haven't dug in yet, but I'm hoping once I do, sleeping, eating, and bathing will all become secondary to finishing this incredible story. That's when I know it's damn good.

So hurry and read it and join the cool club! :)

GIVING DEEP MEANINGS TO OTHERWISE MEANINGLESS THINGS

Being stuck in traffic is boring. I know, what a shocker.

But seriously, it makes me analyze things way too much for no reason other than to keep myself entertained.

And so, I came up with this analogy about how life is like driving, because what's more fun than giving deep meanings to things that are senseless?


Driving is like life...

It's up to you to take the initiative and switch lanes to pass up folks who choose to just cruise. The ones who don't just end up being stuck forever, going nowhere.

Of course, there are always risks involved. The greater the risk, the greater the reward. You can go slow and steady, which lessens the risk, but will take you longer to reach your goal. Or you can drive wayyyy fast and risk crashing and burning or getting pulled over. But if you avoid both obstacles, you're extremely lucky and end up getting ahead the quick way.

You can also pull into a lane you THINK is going fast. You're flying through traffic now, super happy you switched into this lane, doing all you can to stop yourself from rolling down the window and shouting, "See you suckers! (insert Dr. Evil laugh here)" to all the losers who are still stuck in the old lane... only to slam on the brakes in order to stop yourself from crashing into the sea of red brake lights up ahead. Great! Just great! This lane is even slower than the old one. To make things worse, the gray Camry behind you in the old lane just passed you up! Now you're cursing yourself, full of regret. You thought you made a good decision at the time, only to find out had you been patient and just stayed where you were, you would've been better off. People who were slower than you are passing you by now. 

But guess what? Eventually, the traffic clears and you catch up, and if you keep persisting you even pass the gray Camry again.

The worst part is none of this is in your control. You can't control or predict traffic, you can only use your own skills to navigate your car through the hell that is Southern California.

But the thing you've gotta always remember--even when there's total gridlock, nobody's moved an inch in the last half hour, and it seems completely hopeless--everybody has always gotten to where they needed to go. Slow or fast, you'll eventually get to your destination as long as you just keep putting your foot on the gas and push forward.


And that's all! Like all good things, my wonderful deep thought must come to an end LOL... But of course, I couldn't have done this by myself. Thank you 405 freeway for inspiring me.

HOW TO WRITE A SITCOM

Well, since I got my newer, more futuristic cable box, I've had absolutely no TV shows to watch.  The cable box is about as well-designed as an Ikea instruction diagram (if you think that's a positive trait, I want you on my team for Pictionary).

The box seems to have a life of its own, randomly deciding to restart at any time and erasing ALL my saved DVR shows, while not recording any new shows that I've scheduled.  What's that you say?  Watch TV the regular way using the guide like a third-rate chimpanzee?  I will not be subject to this injustice!  IT'S INHUMANE!  We have rights!  No person in this age should have to be subject to commercial cruelty!

So, I've been resorting to what's available on On Demand.  Yeah, there's still commercials here and there, but they're usually really short.  And as a result, I've turned to watching the sitcom Whitney.

I seriously never hear about this show, or see any commercials for it (except before it previewed the first season), or know anyone personally who watches it.  Yet, it's still here.  And even though I watched a few episodes of the first season and wasn't feeling it, like an annoying Ke$ha song, the second season of Whitney just happened to magically grow on me.  Now sixteen episodes later, I actually like Whitney.  And because I like to play producer in my own head, I totally know why I feel the second season works while the first season didn't.

As a result, I think I've figured out HOW TO WRITE A SITCOM with these 5 simple tips:


1)  Have a central location where all the characters regularly hang out at.

In season two of Whitney, the writers/producers/ratings whores/whatever you call them had one of the main characters in the group, Mark, buy a bar called "The Low Bar".  Now they have a place to hang out.  And it makes all the difference in the world.

Season one the entire gang had no place to hang out.  You would never really see every character together in one scene unless they were at some special outing somewhere completely unfamiliar to the viewer.  BIIIG MISTAKE.  After all, where would Friends be without Central Perk, or How I Met Your Mother without MacLaren's?  And of course, Cheers. 

I think a common place where the gang can all hangout is crucial for a sitcom to succeed.  This is where the magic happens!  You can see the characters interact altogether, feel the chemistry between the entire cast, watch them banter back and forth, and lots of other "Man, I wish I had friends like that--they're so funny!" moments.  Even on The New Girl and The Big Bang Theory, everyone hangs out at their apartment most of the time, and have a few side places they always visit (Nick's bar for The New Girl and the comic book shop for The Big Bang Theory).  Without a central location for every person in the gang to hang out at just spells disaster.  Which brings me to my next point...


2)  Expand the gang to where there's at least 5 main characters, meaning you actually care what happens in all of their lives, not just one or two.

Season one of Whitney, Alex and Whitney were the main two characters, while everyone else were just side characters.  Yes, you saw them, yes sometimes they were funny, but you didn't actually really know anything about their lives or care whether they died or not, or even what the heck their names were.  

Season two of Whitney, however, you do know their names.  Sometimes, there's even episodes where Alex and Whitney aren't the main characters and the other people are.  I think the main goal is to get the audience to be invested in the entire cast.  Once again, I want to point out Friends because when people know the first AND last name of each character, you know you've done something right.  (Chandler Bing, Rachel Green, Monica and Ross Geller, come on we all know this...)


3)  It's not enough for each character to just be funny, they have to be different enough to each add something to the show.  Extra points if they have quirky habits.

Using Whitney as an example again, season one nobody had their own quirks.  Like yeah, there were little differences, but everyone was too normal.  Sometimes, I still feel that way even watching season two, but it's improved A LOT.  After watching season two, I can totally see Lily is the weird hippy-ish chick that doesn't have her life together, Roxanne is the bitchy one who's rich, Mark's kind of a loser on the outside but really isn't in terms of his life, Whitney's crazy, and I guess Alex is just an all-around good, funny guy.  Season one everyone just seemed to be making jokes (mostly observational humor) without really any distinct personality traits.  Throw in a new character R.J., the black guy, in season two and you've really got a mixed bag now.

I still think Whitney can improve on the character quirks, however.  Come on, every character has to have a distinctive quirk.  Monica with her obsessive cleanliness, Joey and his love of sandwiches, Raj can't talk to girls, and Sheldon has about two million too many to list.  These quirks make us remember them and love them for it.


4)  Have at least two characters live close to each other unless three or more characters live in a single apartment.

I think the rule goes like this: at least two characters (or combo of single/single, couple/couple, or single/couple) need to live nearby each other (the others can live in some magical fairly land we never see or care about) UNLESS three or more characters live in a single apartment, then it's okay if nobody lives close to each other.

I mean, you've gotta be able to barge into your friend's nearby apartment without knocking.  Otherwise, where would all the "Oops! I shouldn't have seen you do that" or "I definitely caught you at a bad time, be back later" jokes go?  Same rule applies when three or more people live together, except instead of nearby apartment it's nearby room.  You're bound to catch them doing something you shouldn't have.

Friends had Chandler and Joey live across the hall from Monica and Rachel.
The Big Bang Theory has Sheldon and Leonard live across the hall from Penny.
The New Girl has Nick, Jess, Winston, and Schmidt living together.
How I Met Your Mother had Ted living with Lily and Marshall.
Seinfeld had Jerry and Kramer live across from each other.
Even Whitney has Alex and Whitney living in the same building as Mark.


5)  Have an inside joke or on-going game(s) between the gang.

How I Met Your Mother is king of this.  And every other sitcom previously mentioned (Friends, The New Girl, The Big Bang Theory, and I'm sure many more) have this element as well. 

It's that moment you get when you watch the characters interact on the show and you get envious and think, "Man, they're sooo much fun!" And despite how much you love your friends (and you do), you glance at your friend blobbing out on the couch, completely focused on their cell phone, another one zoned into some video game, and maybe a third cooking some crap in your kitchen and making a mess, while you're itching to do something fun or at the very least have a funny, engaging conversation without the help of alcohol or mind-altering substances, and you can't help but think, "Hmm, if only I could trade them in..."


Well, there you have it.  My own made-up tips on how to write a sitcom.  Now let's all become millionaires like Jerry Seinfeld and quit our day jobs.  Oops, I already have (minus the millionaire part).

THE BIG ISLAND OF HAWAII

Time to post some long overdue pictures I took of Hilo/Kona on the big island of Hawaii.

Don't you love how Hawaii makes EVERYONE look like a professional photographer just by pushing the click button?

Ahh nature, you artist you....

The downside to this beauty?  For each breathtaking view in Hawaii, there's a cockroach or centipede waiting to jump on your face.

SONG OF THE WEEK - NEW RELEASES

Every Tuesday I log onto Amazon.com and Itunes (oops, oh right it's iTunes with the 2nd letter in caps instead of the first cause Apple is sooo cool - shouldn't it be aPple then? Anyway...) to see all the new music releases for the week.  It's kind of like a weekly Christmas for me, except I hate some months where there's just an absolute dry spell of good music being released.  Like all the good artists are recording at the same time, kind of like how all the radio stations play commercials at the exact same time.  Seriously, do they have a pact going on or something?  Thank God for the iPod in my iCar.

This week, I'm loving the new Paramore album!  Especially this song ~ STILL INTO YOU.
Makes me wanna drive-with-the-top-down-but-since-i-don't-own-a-convertible-rolled-down-windows-will-have-to-do.
Makes me super happy I wanna sing it all the time and learn to play it on the guitar and then annoy the hell out of people while blindly thinking I'm actually entertaining them by doing some rad acoustic cover!