I've always wondered what makes McDonald's french fries taste sooo damn good. They're consistently voted as one of the best fries on the planet by fat asses everywhere. And, when they're not over salted, you toss out the little tiny super crispy ones that fall to the bottom, and ignore the super soggy bendy ones that are brown on the edges (even though I like those), they really are SUPER delicious and pretty much the perfect fry...
Until about 2 minutes pass and they turn into cardboard. Gross.
But if you eat a cold fry from anywhere else, like Carl's Jr. or Jack in the Box, the fry at least somewhat resembles its original taste and really isn't that bad. But not McDonald's.
That's when I realized that whatever makes McDonald's fries super delicious when they come out piping hot, must also make it super gross when they turn cold.
And that's when I finally understood Angelina Jolie's tattoo on her lower abdomen: "Quod me nutrit me destruit." Or, in the less cool English translation: "What nourishes me also destroys me."
Ahhh, yes McDonald's fry, yes Angelina, I understand now.
I will now carry this new knowledge as if Confucius said it himself.*
Now if I can only understand wtf Megan Fox's "We will all laugh at gilded butterflies" means I can officially retire.
*I'm also 1000% kidding if anyone is taking me seriously.
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