THE TWELVE-STEP PROGRAM FOR BIRTHDAYS

Birthdays. Sigh.

Yeah. This is how old I feel.

Before, when I was young, I couldn't wait for my birthday each year, eager to open my presents and throw an "off the hook" party (and by off the hook, I mean going to Palace Park *aka* Boomers to play ski-ball). 

Nowadays, I dread my birthday. Not only does it mean turning another year older, but after a certain age, the true meaning of a birthday is this--the time when you compare where you thought you'd be at age x versus where you really are in life at age x.  

Of course, there are birthdays when reality exceeds your expectations, but in my experience, these years are few and far between. Most of the time, my birthdays feel more like a 12-step addiction program than a birthday:

Step 1 - Admit I am getting older. Understand that I am powerless against time.

Step 2 - Reality is a bitch, ain't it?

Step 3 - Stare at the list of goals I made for myself last birthday. What the f*ck did I do all year besides watch The Walking Dead?

Step 4 - Refrain from the urge to shoot anyone I overhear saying, "Oh. My. God. I'm turning 24 next year, I'm soooo old!" or anyone who's birthday year doesn't even have an "8" in front of it.

Step 5 - Ahhh!!!! This is not how I thought my life would be at age x!!!! Forget the 6,000 square ft mansion and private yacht! I'll settle for just not having to split rent with a roommate(s) and not having to think anything more expensive than fast food is "fancy."

Step 6 - If you call me "ma'am" one more time, I will bust your face open!!!

Step 7 - Okay, okay, calm down. Let's be positive. Hey, I'm not that old. Those wrinkles around my eyes give me character.

Step 8 - Suddenly relapse by clinging onto my current age until the last possible second! Forget it! My life is over!!!

Step 9 - Fight off severe depression, followed by thoughts of "Ugh, why don't I just off myself?!"

Step 10 - Talk myself off the ledge by appreciating what I do have. Yeah, yeah, the glass is half-full. But we all know what it really is.

Step 11 - A promise to make this year count. This is the year where all my dreams are going to come true! (Yeah, right.)

Step 12 - Finally, a peaceful thought: Well, at least I have a whole year until I have to feel this way again.

But seriously, for me, even New Years Day doesn't compare to birthdays when it comes to "the benchmark test." 

So, here are my birthday resolutions for this year.

1) DO MORE, NOT LESS

Nobody looks back and thinks, "Man, I should've done less!"

Most of the time, we look back and think, "I should've done more. WAYYYYY MORE!"

Even if it ended up being completely harmful, unhealthy, not beneficial in any way, balls-to-the-walls crazy, I can't really think of an instance--good or bad--when people regret doing so much. Usually, you just think, "Haha, back when I was young and silly. Those were good times."

Obviously, I'm not talking about running off to be a heroin junkie and sleeping in a dumpster every night, but you know what I mean...

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

2) DON'T LET THIS WORLD CHANGE ME

Life can get you down. No doubt about it. That's why everyone starts out as happy, easy-breezy, carefree children and grow up to become grumpy, cynical, old farts. The world sucks, but you don't have to.

This is probably the resolution I have to work on the most. I was born extra sensitive, with a caring heart, and an urge to help people. But over the years, my sympathy has plummeted like a bad stock.

I used to feel for people, but life has changed me. For my friends and family, of course, I still care. And for random people suffering/starving in whatever crappy, third-world country, and natural disaster victims, my heart goes out to you.

But for all you mortals in between?

Whatever! Get your sh*t together like everyone else had to do at some point.

That's what I started to think over the years.

I know my life is privileged compared to most, but it doesn't mean I didn't work my ass off to get to where I am, or that I haven't had my fair share of crappy stuff happen to me. I feel I made certain choices, and sacrificed a lot in order to carve a decent life for myself. And I started thinking, hey, if I could do it, anyone can do it if they're just willing to put in the work. Because really, if somebody really wanted to do something, nothing would stop them, no matter how hard it is. Everything else that gets in the way is just an excuse. This is the beauty of human nature, but since I've had this belief for such a long time, I just stopped caring. I wouldn't give money to a bum holding a puppy while exiting off a freeway. I'd pretend my iPod was suddenly really interesting while blasting the A/C and rolling up the windows to my Lexus.

It's sad. This isn't really who I am. I used to always give money to bums. Yeah, maybe they'll use it for drugs, but not all of them do. I shouldn't make every bum suffer just because some of them aren't model citizens.

A few years ago, I also made a promise to God and myself that if I was healthy, I'd give blood as much as humanly possible without fainting. It didn't happen.

So, hopefully, this year will be better.

3) REALIZE HAPPINESS DOESN'T ALWAYS LOOK THE WAY YOU WANTED IT TO

We all had an idea of what our life would be like when we "grew up." Only to grow up and realize, OH CRAP! There are no grown ups! In fact, my parents are just as messed up as I am, they just hide it better! And I am just as messed up as I am! 

Still, even though my life is nothing like how I imagined it would be at my age, I look around and realize I can't complain. 

Sure, my family hasn't always been perfect, but if I stop focusing on the negatives, the good definitely outweighs the bad. The one thing I love about my family is they gave me the gift of laughter. Every family gathering, everyone in my family is always laughing and cracking jokes. As I get older, I feel lucky because of this.

I don't have a lot of friends, but the few I do have are definitely great people. On top of that, I have the luxury to just chill and even work on trying to be happy. Some people are struggling to eat, so "finding happiness" isn't exactly on their to-do list.

As much as I've hated my life at times in the past, I'm starting to change my outlook, and I hope it continues. 

Being happy is so simple, yet can seem like the hardest thing in the world. But I realized my life doesn't have to be perfect in order for me to be happy. And just because I'm happy doesn't mean my life can't be happier. Happiness alone doesn't mean I've reached my end goal. It's okay to be happy and still strive for the things I've always wanted in life.

Well, I guess I'll see how I feel about all of this next year.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone!

THIS IS MY SECRET

Finally, a new post!

Gosh, I've been really bad about posting, but this time it's not a video game keeping me away. Even though there's so much I want to share (like new music, new TV shows, random thoughts, funny stories about my life), today I want to share with you my secret!

So, what's my secret?

It's actually not that big of a secret. I've told many people about it, but not everyone. And I think it's about time...

And I shall unveil it by ripping off Kristin Cashore's blog, author of the enjoyable Graceling. I'm so original!

"Then, at last, sitting on her stretcher-bed, she took from the very bottom of her pack an old peacock-blue scarf folded around a heavy, square book. She unwrapped it and opened it very carefully, as if guilty secrets might fall from between its pages like pressed flowers. This was Harry's secret. She was a writer." 

-from The Tricksters, by Margaret Mahy

I didn't even re-type it, just straight copied and pasted from her blog. Ahh, so lazy, lah.
But the first time I read this on Kristin Cashore's blog, it really made sense to me. Sometimes, I feel writing is indeed my secret.

So if people wonder what I do at home, this is it--I write.

No, I don't write longhand. Actual letters just looked cooler than someone typing on a computer.

Yup, I'm a wannabe writer! Been doing it seriously for almost 6 years now, even though I took close to a 2-year break up until recently. It's been a dream of mine, and with ebooks these days, I feel I can finally take things into my own hands. After all, nobody's going to make my dream come true except for moi.

That's right, between going to work, going to school, and studying for the CPA exam, I popped out four novels and many half-written books in the past 6 years.

Now, however, I finally feel I've been working on the one. I started the one in May 2010. Yup, three freaking years ago! But I did take a 2-year break, though it's still been one long project. Before I talk more about the one, let's start from the beginning so that my story can possibly inspire others to do the same thing (Oh, who am I kidding? I just want to talk about myself, lol.)

So, how did it all start?

I guess it really started when I was little. Growing up, I always loved to read. Maybe it's because my mom is a reader, I'm not sure, but after playing outside and goofing off, I'd always come home to a fun book. My favorite was Encyclopedia Brown. Man, I loved that series!

Want to know where all the Social Security money went? Ask Encyclopedia Brown! This kid can solve anything!

Then when I was a little older, my favorite switched to The Babysitters Club.

Glad even the 80's always included a token Asian and Black person in the group.

Sweet Valley High was probably a close second, but I wasn't really a fan of the third-person voice.

Whatever happened to the TV show? Oh, right--it sucked! That's what happened.

Then I began to write stories in my spiral notebooks, but at the time I didn't think getting published was actually something that could happen. Making up characters and writing about their interactions was just fun for me. I would look at celebrity photos and create a whole new persona for them, pretending they were characters in my book (funny thing is, I still do this now just so I have a feel for what my characters look like). I had several notebooks filled with all my stories. 

Then in my teenage rebellion years, reading was considered lame-O! I abandoned pretty much anything and everything that had to do with writing or reading. 

Yeah, I didn't really enjoy the mandatory school reading list: Lord of the Flies, The Scarlet Letter, The Good Earth, etc. I literally thought all authors had to do to get published was to write a really freaking boring book!

But along came a few books that were too good not to read, namely The Da Vinci Code and Harry Potter. Soon, I was reading every day and scouring the internet for reviews on good books. Teen or adult, I didn't care, as long as the book fell under either the "fun" or "good" category, I'd read it. And that's when I clicked on a "people who bought this also bought this" link on Amazon.com which lead me to Twilight.

Ah, Twilight. The most beloved and also most hated series on the planet.

Beloved because most girls just absolutely adore the books.

Hated because the movies suck, and every boyfriend/husband in the world is probably sick of hearing about it and doesn't get what the deal is.

And also hated because it's just too mainstream and popular for it's own good.
I don't think this is true for all things, but I do think most of the time, once the word gets out that _insert something wonderful you're obsessed about_ is no longer a secret and everybody knows about it, it's not cool anymore because it's too mainstream and everyone starts hating it instead.

But you know what? Back when the Twilight book first came out--before there was a movie, before most people knew about it--all it got was love! I'm not ashamed to admit that I loved the Twilight books.

When I first read it, I imagined Edward as a better-looking/cooler/buffer James Franco. 

Says James Franco: I could've been a good Edward Cullen.
Because being an actor, writer, Oscar host, film teacher, screenplay teacher, English teacher, PhD candidate at Yale, art exhibitionist, and short story author isn't keeping me busy enough.

Unfortunately, now with the movie being out, nobody can ever read it again without Robert Pattinson's Frankenstein side profile popping into their brain. Or Jacob's I-glued-horsetail-onto-my-head fake long hair. Or Kristin Stewart's monotone voice. 

But I have to thank Twilight, more specifically Stephenie Meyer, because without it's existence, I would never be pursuing my passion today.

Before I ever read the book, I actually read Stephenie Meyer's post on her blog about how she got Twilight published. I had no idea what the book was about. After I read her post, it caught my interest enough that I read Twilight in like record time, and thought afterwards, "Man, getting published sounds easy! Just have a dream, write a book about it, send out some query letters, and get rich and famous!"

Boy, was I dumb.

I thought the very first book I wrote was awesome. I literally thought, "Suck it, Harry Potter! My piece of work is infinitely better!" I imagined living in a mansion, getting my own interviews about how I came up with the idea for my book, going to the movie premiere, and having millions of screaming fans fall in love with my characters like they were rock stars. But no, it was just my over-inflated ego daydreaming.

Looking back, the book idea wasn't bad, the character's weren't horrible, but overall the book sucked. I'm actually glad I got rejection letter after rejection letter. Yes, glad. That's how bad it was. As many books and articles I read about character development and story telling, I think it took me a long time to truly develop the skills I needed to in order to write a decent book. I'm not saying the one is perfect, but it's by far the best book I've written, and I would probably even be somewhat proud of the one once it's released to the world.

I think all writers go through this phase where they think any book they pop out of their ass is New York Times Bestseller-worthy, and they don't understand why it gets rejected. Of course, many people actually do get this lucky, and that's why there's so much crap out there floating around in the market. But as time goes on, you get over yourself, and suddenly your first piece of art isn't as dazzling as you once thought it was. You become a serious writer. And then you think you suck because you suddenly realize what it actually takes to write a good story. And it's not easy. 

Although, I bet if people read the one, they wouldn't really know how much work went into it unless they started out as a crap writer like myself. It would probably seem like a book that was a breeze to write, and they'd be right in many aspects. It's probably not going to cause some ground-breaking, life-changing moment after you read my book. It'll probably come off as a simple, light story. But I can say I put a ton of thought into creating every character to make them as 3-D as possible, not to mention the dynamics of their relationships, and trying to weave in any world-building explanations in a way that doesn't seem out-of-place, while trying to make all the different pieces of the plot come together so it's not one jumbled mess. This book has literally sucked the life out of me. A lot of sleepless nights. A lot of McDonald's Medium Iced Caramel Coffees with three extra creamers.

But if I can just get one person to fall in love with my book, all my effort will be worth it. It sounds lame, but it's to the point where I feel my characters deserve to be known. Otherwise, I'd be doing them a disservice. Even if everybody on the planet hates my book, it's even scarier for me to have people not know about it.

So now I need to hole myself up and work on it. I'm not working as hard as I should be, I admit, because something always distracts me. If it's not video games, then it's anime on hulu.com! But the wheels have been set in motion, and without getting into too many details, I am hoping to have the book up for sale as an ebook on July 31, 2013. Be warned: I am going to shamelessly promote it. You will probably be annoyed. 

There will be a lot of people I will thank when it's said and done. But there's one kid I'd definitely have to include.

In sixth grade, I would make the boy I sat next to (his name was Andy) read my stories. He would tell me what he thought of them, and which stories he liked the best.

Then one day he said: Hey, when you publish your first book, will you dedicate it to me?
Me: Yeah!
Him: You promise?
Me: Of course!
Him: Yeah, right. You'll probably forget by then.
Me: No, I promise, I won't forget.

And now, 21 years later, I still remember.

WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN?

So, I obviously haven't made good on my "try to post once a day on my blog" promise I made to myself. But for good reason.

What's that good reason?

BioShock Infinite, of course! 

I've always loved video games. Yeah, sometimes it's hard to make time for them because there's so much to do in life. But since I quit my job, in regards to time... Well, I've got plenty.

Now, if you haven't played the game and you're planning to - STOP READING. RIGHT NOW. Don't be tempted to read just because your eyes are already glued to the page. Opposite of Nike - Just Don't Do It.

On the other hand, if you have no idea what BioShock Infinite is, then by all means go ahead and read on, just be prepared to be more confused than your grandmother trying to use an iPhone.

Since this post will be talking about BioShock Infinite's ending, from this point on...

***MAJOR SPOILER ALERT***

I'm pretty sure that red letters in all caps in bold with asterisks on both sides is the universal symbol for "warning" when posting on blogs. So don't say I didn't warn you :)

MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE GAME

With the help of reinforcements when needed *aka* the bf, I was able to shoot, decapitate, light on fire, electrocute--and other cool ways of dealing death--my way to the very interesting/confusing ending to BioShock Infinite. 

When I first saw the preview for BioShock Infinite inside an issue of Game Informer, I was pretty intrigued. I wasn't a fan of BioShock 1 and 2, just knew the setting of the game was underwater and there were a lot of deranged humans running around you had to kill. Sounded too dark and dirrty for my taste. I'm not really one for first-person shooters either. Generally, I like to stick to action/adventure (like Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, etc.), platform, and RPG. The most experience I've had with a first-person shooter game was one week where I tried to learn how to play Counter-Strike (this was more than a decade ago, and the term "fail" doesn't even cover it), and also the brief moments in the game UNCHARTED where you had to make your way to a cave or tomb, and even then I would get pretty frustrated. 

But something about BioShock Infinite just made me want to play it--maybe it was the artwork, maybe it was the story, or maybe it was because the game takes place in Columbia, a city in the sky. Who doesn't like a floating city? 

Remember the floating city Laputa in one of the most beloved Studio Ghibli films Castle in the Sky?

Laputa from the movie Castle in the Sky

Well, Columbia makes Laputa look like...how should I put this...

Columbia is to Laputa as Hit-Me-Baby-One-More-Time Britney Spears is to Current Britney Spears.

Columbia

Laputa

Yes, that different. Just see for yourself.

The Beautiful Columbia

What? They made a statue of me? How thoughtful!

This is what I call traveling in style

Wish Cali had a bridge like this. And did you notice? No freeways! Meaning no traffic!

Yeah, definitely not Laputa.

Makes you want to sing, "Oh beautiful for spacious skies...from sea to shining sea! Columbia the Beautiful!"

If that didn't win me over already, the tons of 10/10 reviews I kept reading with an emphasis on how great the story was made me take the plunge. 

So I dedicated every spare moment I had to playing the game, desperate to get to the end to find out what the hell was going on, and finally, after a lot of frustration, a lot of "WTF, I died? F--- this, this stupid controller is broken!", unnecessary cuss words, and calling in the reinforcement for a final time to help beat the "boss" fight, the end came.

And it confused the bejeezus out of me. 

Instantly, I grabbed the iPad and looked up "understanding the ending to BioShock Infinite," which led me to this article from Venture Beat.

The article was great! I sort of understood the story now, but only partially. I kept thinking about it, like how most of us felt after watching the movie Inception. It had that type of story/ending. I think the hardest part about understanding the story/ending is that nothing is really explained. Yeah, you get somewhat of an explanation at the end, but most of what you learn about the story is through little clues in the game, dialogue (but not explanations), viewing short history films from various kinetoscopes, and finding/listening to Voxophones, which are short recordings of characters basically talking to themselves and taken out of context. The rest is up to you to fill in the blanks.

Even in my sleep, I was dreaming about it, and also dreaming that there was a never-ending stream of bad guys that kept coming at me no matter how many I killed. It was never enough! That part was more of a nightmare, really.

But this morning, I was able to somehow sort it all out in my head, and I really think I have a great explanation that might answer a lot of the bigger questions people have. I also posted the same explanation in the comments section of a related blog from the author of the Venture Beat article.

So here's my take on the ending and what it means. Again, those who aren't familiar with the story or didn't play the game might be confused. However, you can just read the article from Venture Beat which summarizes the plot nicely :)

MY TAKE ON EXPLAINING THE ENDING

I used to be really confused about time travel until I read a little book called When You Reach Me (by Rebecca Stead), which had THE BEST explanation about time travel ever. Even though it's considered a kid's book, I highly recommend it! And I think the same theory can be used to explain BioShock Infinite's multiverse.

First, it's crucial to understand that all the different worlds/possible outcomes in the multiverse exist AT THE SAME TIME. They are not linear, meaning they are not created one after the other at the time Booker makes choices in another world. In these other worlds, Booker has already made that choice and is living in parallel time to all the other worlds.

This is the part where the time travel theory from When You Reach Me comes into play. Think of each world/lighthouse as a picture. Let's say all these pictures are hung up on your wall, existing side-by-side. Once taken, a picture by itself cannot be changed. Even though people are living entire lives in these worlds, the events that happen in that particular world cannot be changed, it will just keep repeating and repeating.

So, in Bioshock Infinite, when the Lucete twins make a tear and lure Booker into jumping into a different dimension and going to Columbia to save Elizabeth, I believe THAT IN ITSELF IS A WORLD. As in, in this world, Booker didn't really change dimensions; him "changing dimensions" is already incorporated into that particular world because regardless of where the Lucete twins originally came from, once they were there, the "picture" was snapped and could not be changed. Therefore, in that world, Booker is stuck in an infinite loop of seemingly jumping dimensions (though he's really still within the same world) and trying to save Elizabeth. (I also believe this is why the game is called Bioshock Infinite ^_^)

In addition, I believe the Lucete twins (Rosalind and Robert) don't have as much power in regards to tears compared to Elizabeth. They can do some things with the help of a machine, like open tears and maybe bring some items/people from one world to another, but it doesn't seem they can fully interact with the people and the surroundings in the different worlds the way Elizabeth can. Otherwise, why wouldn't the twins just try to get revenge on Comstock by themselves in some other way? It seems the best they can do is observe things here and there, but in order to truly interact with the environment they need to go through Booker or Elizabeth to do it. I believe this makes sense because throughout the game, they only interact with Booker or Elizabeth, and nobody else in that world. Elizabeth, however...

She seems to be able to fully interact in whichever world she's in, like easily pulling out flowers from a tear (like in one of the elevator scenes), without the help of machines, which is what makes her so special. It seems Elizabeth has full control of jumping from universe to universe, creating tears, pulling things from one tear to another, interacting and subsequently changing the environment, etc., where as, the Lucete twins didn't. Which comes to my next point: If the different worlds are pictures, then Elizabeth--and only Elizabeth--is PHOTOSHOP.

Yes, like digital image editing software, Elizabeth is the one thing that can change the photos, or worlds in this example. She doesn't have to follow the rules of the multiverse like everyone else. She is special--she has photoshop abilities that can change the pictures. Therefore, I believe that in the end, when she takes Booker to "the picture"/world of when he is baptized, because she can actually interact with the world and not just observe--unlike the Lucete twins--she is able to successfully drown Booker before he turns into Comcast and change that picture/world forever. But because this is not really a true choice (since it was done only by Elizabeth's power, and not a true choice of life at the time, meaning Booker didn't decide to drown himself when he was there the first time), I don't believe new worlds were created because of this incident. I believe in the very end, the world where BioShock Infinite takes place (the looped world) is now forever changed. Meaning, Anna is in the crib, but since Comcast died, the Lucete twins never come and lure Booker to try to save Elizabeth, and as a result that world, or picture, has been forever changed because of Elizabeth's photoshopping skills. I also think the other worlds where Comcast/Elizabeth exist didn't just disappear; the worlds are still there, only Comcast and Elizabeth and any events related to those characters have now been "photoshopped" out of the picture, leaving the remaining picture/world untouched. And hopefully, a happy Anna and happy Booker are now photoshopped into whatever world/picture they now exist in.

Of course, I could be totally wrong, but this is what makes sense to me :)

FINAL THOUGHTS

Overall, I'm very happy I played the game, and I think it's an experience that will stay with me for awhile. 

I also really appreciate all the little details the game developers thought of. Even the song Booker and Elizabeth sing together in the game, called "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?", seems to fit the story line perfectly.

I also can't get the song out of my head. The voice actors of Booker and Elizabeth are so freaking talented! Love this video of them singing together in the ending credits.

Not to mention, I finally picked up some first-person shooting skills. Yay!
So BioShock 4--Bring it! 

GIRLS VS. GUYS - SAYING GOODBYE

WHEN GIRLS SAY GOODBYE TO THEIR FRIEND...

Girl #1: Bye, babe! It was sooo good seeing you!

Girl #2: I know hun, so good seeing you too! 

*Hugs*

Girl #1: We have to do this again soon!

Girl #2: Yes, definitely! It was so good to catch up. When are you free?

Girl #1: Well, I'm gonna be kind of busy this week with a work thing, and a baby shower I have to go to, and my aunt's in town, but after that I should be pretty free.

Girl #2: Sounds good, we should try that one new restaurant I heard about next time.

Girl #1: Yeah! I'll text you.

Girl #2: Oh, actually, just call or email me. My phone is kinda messed up and I don't get texts sometimes.

Girl #1: Okay, your email's still sweetangelx28@gmail.com, right?

Girl #2: No, that one actually got hacked.

Girl #1: What? No way!

Girl #2: Yeah, so I changed it to onelove28@gmail.com

Girl #1: K, hang on... (saves it in phone). Okay, got it!

Girl #2: Yeah, just email me!

Girl #1: For sure!

*Hugs again*

Girl #2: Drive safe!

Girl #1: You too!

Girl #2: Hope to see you soon!

Girl #1: Alright, bye girl!

WHEN GUYS SAY GOODBYE TO THEIR FRIEND...

Guy #1: Yo...

Guy #2: Taking off? Aiight, man.

*hand slap*

THE END.

Lol, observing the difference between guys and girls never gets old for me. Love it. 

FYI, the guy version is based on a real conversation I witnessed earlier today. But I still think girls rule and guys drool! :)

GETTING A TATTOO

For no reason whatsoever--which, about 90% of the time, is why I do most things--I decided to write a post about getting a tattoo.

I always hear people telling me they want one, but they're too scared, or just asking me questions about tattoos in general. Yes, I get not everyone is curious about them, and I'm no expert. But I do have 9 tattoos and counting, so I'd say I have some experience (12 if you also count the two that I lasered off and one I covered up).

I remember my very first tattoo...

I was 15. Me and my friend, Celia, were bored out of our minds and decided getting a tattoo sounded fun. Of course, we were both underage so we couldn't just stroll into a legit tattoo shop. We'd have to go the stupid route--getting them done by some ghetto wanna-be gangster at his house. 

Like most teenagers, once I got an idea in my head, I was not stopping until I reached my goal. So I called around (or actually, paged around because that's what everyone did back then) until an older girl at my school named Ann called me back. She had a tattoo, and yeah, it was ugly as sh*t. But for some stupid reason I thought the person she was going to refer me to was different than the person who did hers because on the phone she said, "He's really good!" I mean, unless she never looked in the mirror or was just completely delusional, she'd have to know her tattoo looked like a retarded kid drew on her with a black Sharpie, right?

But nope, that's how dumb I was.

So, Celia and I called our friend A-wei who drove us to Westminster in his old Toyota Cressida with no power steering. We went into the house, greeted by two tatted-up thug guys in wife beaters. And, for some reason I will never understand, I decided to go first. Maybe I just wanted to be the brave, "down" one. So dumb.

Literally, the guy was tattooing me with one hand while drinking and holding a beer in the other.

After Celia saw the outcome, of course she backed out.

I left the house, got into A-wei's car, and just started crying my eyes out like a two-year-old baby thinking WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF?!!? 

Our older friend Grace was also in the car. She was kind of a tough chick and told A-wei to remember the address in case we ever wanted to get revenge. We never did, but at the time, it made me feel better just to know she cared enough. 

Luckily, years later I got it lasered off and covered it up with something much prettier. 

And I've come a long way since then. Unfortunately, I had to learn from experience and still plan to fix/laser off some of my own. So I'd like to share with you my tips on getting a tattoo. 


THINGS YOU MUST COME TO TERMS WITH BEFORE GETTING A TATTOO

1) The first and most important thing of all--YOU HAVE TO NOT GIVE A CRAP WHAT ANYONE THINKS. Pretty much after getting one (if it's a decent size) people will be judging you for the rest of your life. You will be hearing people left and right going, "Why did you get that? I would never do that to myself," and a billion other negative comments. But you know what? Seriously, for every person who asks, "Why did you do that?" there's a person around the corner that gets it and tells you how pretty and awesome your tattoo is. No joke. Almost without fail, at least a few times a week, strangers approach me and compliment my tattoos. I'd like to be humble and say I get sick of it, but I really don't. It honestly makes my day.

Another thing people always try to remind you of is how ugly it's going to look once you're old. Well, the way I see it, it's gonna look good for at least 20-30 years. And by the time it does look like crap, you're gonna be so old and falling apart and just striving to be healthy that the last thing on your mind is gonna be your ugly tattoo. In fact, you might even look at it and be fond of it, remembering the good times when you were young.  And later, once your tattoo has been on your body for so long, it really becomes a part of you. Kind of like how an old scar just starts to belong. It might be unsightly, but you're so used to seeing it on your arm or leg or wherever that it would be weird if it were suddenly gone.

2) If you're girl, you've gotta know that guys generally aren't fans of girls with big or a lot of tattoos. Sure, something small and cute and girly is okay. But if you go big and bad ass? No bueno. But again, if he's not into tattoos and you are, then that just means he's NOT the one for you. I mean, do you really want to be held back from expressing who you really are just because someone may or may not like you more? 

3) There really isn't such a thing as a perfect tattoo. You will probably nitpick. At first glance, you will always LOVE your new tattoo. But overtime, after staring at it forever, you will start to nitpick all the little imperfections. Or start thinking, "What if I just moved this slightly over here, or changed the color here, etc." It will probably drive some people, who are perfectionists (which I kinda am), crazy. But you've just gotta remember your tattoo is awesome and you're just nitpicking stuff nobody else is even going to notice. (Unless you got a really jacked up tattoo because you didn't read this post! Then you're screwed! lol)

4) There might be times you regret it. Yeah, when you see people with no tattoos at all, and how elegant and normal they look when wearing a dressy gown, there are brief moments when you think, "What if I never got one at all? My body would look really clean." But after a few seconds it passes because in the end, your tattoo is part of who you are. You got it for a reason--whether it was because you thought it was pretty, it represents something meaningful to you, or you just wanted to express yourself somehow--it's YOU. One of my favorite quotes is, "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." You have to remember you got the tattoo for yourself, not for anyone else. You think Kat Von D gives a f*ck what anyone thinks?

(Yeah, my guess is a big fat NO.)

WHERE TO GET A TATTOO FROM

JUST SAY NO

1) At some dude's house with a home-made tattoo machine = HELL NO!

2) Walking into a random shop you saw on the street and just choosing a flash design (a generic pre-printed design from a book millions of other tattoo shops also have) and gives you a flat rate= FIRM NO!

3) Researching a well-known tattoo shop and getting a piece custom designed for you by an artist where they charge BY THE HOUR = YES!!! SCORE!!!

Good work costs money, but since it's going to be on you for the rest of your life, I'd say it's worth it.


FREE-HAND VS. STENCIL

When I was younger, I always thought free-hand was better. After all, if an artist can free-hand draw a tattoo on you then that proves how bad ass and skilled they are, right? I still think this is true, and I also think it depends on what kind of tattoo you're getting (I have both), but the bad thing about free hand? It's FREE HAND! It's not going to be as detailed, and the lines won't be as straight because there's no guide to help the tattoo artist do their job.

That's why these days I actually prefer stencil. The design is usually drawn on a piece of paper first and, with the help of computers, rulers, and other tools, every line comes out as perfect as can be. Then the artist can just follow the lines once the stencil is placed on the body, and the tattoo usually comes out much more detailed and perfect.

PROS TO FREE-HAND
- Artist has mad talent.
- Because artists don't get a chance to measure your body or actually see where the tattoo will be placed, free-hand allows them to create a design on the spot that matches perfectly to the curves of your body.

CONS TO FREE-HAND
- If the placement isn't perfect, the design must be completely erased and re-drawn, causing the design to be slightly (and even completely) different each time. Very difficult to keep the parts you liked about the first design before it was erased and even harder to keep tweaking the design until it's perfect. It's kind of like a one shot type thing.

PROS TO STENCIL
- Design will be P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
- Design won't change when messing with the placement.
- Easy to fix and change little details to the design without changing the overall piece. The artist will mostly likely have it saved on the computer and can quickly adjust what you like/don't like and have the stencil re-printed.

CONS TO STENCIL
- Sometimes the design may not be as tailored to your body.

But overall, I'd still say the winner is STENCIL!!! ^_^


NEEDLES AND COLORS

FOR NEEDLES
Don't go somewhere where they only use two different needles on you (an outline needle and a shading needle), or worse--just one needle. Different needles are needed to do different things. In general, I'd say three or more and you're in good hands, unless the design is really simple and may only need one. 

The outline needle should also be able to make super thin, sharp, clean lines. Back in the day, maybe because of technology, everyone just got the same semi-thick outline that became thicker and blurrier as the years flew by. This is not the case now. Where before the thickness might've been like 0.7-0.9 pencil lead, these days it can become as thin as 0.3-0.5.

The artist should also double check each freshly new packaged needle with a magnifying glass to make sure the needle is completely straight. Yes, this is what my artist does to make sure nothing gets messed up. And yeah, she's really awesome.

FOR COLORS
Don't go somewhere where they only have one type of black ink. These days, there are many different types of black ink. Some are really thick, used to make really dark outlines. Others are more watery, which comes out a light gray, and there are more in between for all types of shading. Yup, some places just use one type of black ink and use the needle to create the different shades of light and dark, but I think the tattoo will not hold up as well in the long run from this method.

Also, places with all different colors of ink purchased in the bottle are generally better. Now, artists can still mix the primary colors together to make new colors (this is how it used to be done) and it can still come out awesome. I actually have a rose colored this way and it looks beautiful. But unless the artist is really freaking good, the color of the tattoo will probably not be as consistent as pre-made bottled ink. I think some tattoo shops don't buy all the colors to save money, so try to avoid those places.


HOW TO CHOOSE A TATTOO ARTIST

All good artists will have a portfolio. Take the time to look at them, even if you have to visit a billion websites.
Not only will this make you feel comfortable with their level of work, but viewing the different portfolios is crucial in getting to know the artist's style.

What if you want a black and white portrait, but you randomly choose a person who only does new school, colorful cartoon styles? Not the best pick.

Although both are good in their own styles, you wouldn't go to someone who did this...

 ...To get this.

Everybody has a different style, so book an appointment with the artist you think will be the best for that particular tattoo. It may or may not be the same artist for each tattoo idea you have. I think this happens a lot--someone chooses an artist they heard is good, but when the tattoo is said and done, it doesn't come out looking like anything they imagined. Then they blast the artist on Yelp. Sure, the artist probably had some faults, but the client did also in not doing enough research.

In addition, even though it's a tattoo and the artist looks like they live some rock n' roll lifestyle, they should still be PROFESSIONAL. I had one guy show up 20 minutes late to my appointment, stoned out of his mind, and draw my design in, like, five minutes on some crappy ripped up paper. I ended up walking out because I didn't trust him to put something permanent on my body. When I was younger and didn't know any better, I probably would've gone through with it, but not now. 

The artist should never ever ever ever be under the influence. I don't care what it is--drugs, alcohol, prescriptions pills...it's all a no. They should be professional, on time, and already have your design ready for you. Extra points if the design wows you at first sight :)

They should also be willing to spend time with you to make sure the design is perfect, adjusting anything you don't like, and making sure the placement is perfect, even if it means placing and re-placing the stencil a hundred times.

Gloves are also a must. Every time the artist touches something other than your skin (like to drink a bottle of water or taking the gloves off for some reason) they should put a fresh pair of gloves on. If it doesn't feel like a hospital to some degree, like you're about to get your blood drawn, get out. 

Clean tattoo station

They should also wipe away the excess ink while tattooing with fresh, NEW paper towels each time your skin is wiped, not the same old rag throughout the whole process.


YOU'VE DONE ALL THE RESEARCH, NOW WHAT DESIGN SHOULD YOU GET?

Yes, spontaneous tattoos can be fun. A good amount of my earlier ones were spur-of-the moment, but you will probably regret it later. If you're only going to get one or two, it's not a big deal. But any more than that and it's better to have a plan.

For me, I think it's best when tattoos have some sort of cohesiveness to them, instead of just random tattoos placed all over the body with no connection. I'm suffering from that mistake right now. I think tattoos that sort of blend in with your body because of a common color or theme looks the best. Yes, it sucks you can only pick and choose how many cool tattoos you can have, but in the end it looks a lot better. After all, you don't want to end up like the bride who couldn't decide what type of wedding she wanted so she threw in everything but the kitchen sink, which turned into a giant hot mess.

WHAT YOU WANT YOUR TATTOOS TO LOOK LIKE

Christina Perri has a ton of tattoos, but since all of hers are in black and red, it looks like they all match.
Tattoo win.

Amelia Nightmare's tattoos are all colorful and cartoon-like.
Tattoo win.

WHAT YOU DON'T WANT YOUR TATTOOS TO LOOK LIKE

Although both tattoos are done well, Lady Gaga's "Little Monsters" tattoo is placed too close to her other tattoo, and the designs have no relation to each other. Looks like someone didn't plan the placement ahead of time.
Tattoo fail.

This girl just got everything. Some color, some black and white, and a lot of WTF.
Tattoo fail.

Understand that popular placements and tattoo trends change over time. When I was younger, getting black and white gangster tattoos was the thing to do. Dragons, Phoenix, Kanji... Mostly placed on the upper outer arm for guys and upper or lower back for girls. Remember that era?

Remember this, guys? If you see this on someone, you know they grew up listening to Tupac and Biggie.

And who can forget the tribal arm band craze fifteen years ago?

Aren't you glad you didn't do this to yourself?

But these days, people get tattoos in the weirdest and oddest places. In fact,the more creative you can be with the placement, the cooler it is.

I think colors have also come such a long way that I prefer them over black and white tattoos now, at least for girls. Look at what tattoos can look like these days!

I think these days, anything goes. You don't want to follow the trend, and the more unique your tattoo is the better.

If you're still not sure what you want, I'd say first look at pictures of other people's tattoos who got the same design so you have an idea of what you'd want yours to look like. Yes, it's bad etiquette to copy someone else's tattoo, but it's okay to show it to your artist as reference. And trust me, unless you want something seriously unique, chances are people have already gotten the same tattoo. Which is good, actually. Why be the guinea pig when someone else can be?

The other thing I would suggest is printing out a picture of what you want, cutting out the shape, and taping it on the part of your body you're thinking of getting tattooed. That way you can really visualize it on yourself. 

Also know that if you get lettering of any kind, people will forever be asking you what it says. Some people get sick of this and find it annoying (I think I am one of those people). So just be prepared.

So you've picked your design, booked an appointment with a rock star artist, and the day has come for you to make the commitment. When you see your design, if there's anything you don't like, you have to speak up. Yes, you should trust your artist's skill, but you should also trust yourself. If you don't like the way something looks, they would much rather you tell them beforehand instead of having you laser it off later on or covering it up with something else.

I'm not sure about all tattoo artists, but from what I know I believe most of them honestly want the tattoo to come out even better than you do. It's their work, it's their pride. And when they do a bad job, it just breaks them inside. Even on those tattoo reality shows (like Miami Ink, LA Ink, etc.), over and over again, tattoo artists will say the best feeling they get is seeing the shocked look from a super happy client. It's kind of like a standing ovation at the end of an awesome stand-up comedy routine. So don't be scared to "offend" them in any way just because you want to throw in your two cents!


TATTOO ETIQUETTE

- Be nice to your artist :) This should be a given.
- Don't copy someone else's tattoo. I admit, I've been guilty of this, and I don't think I'll do it ever again. You can bring in someone else's tattoo as a reference, but yours should have its own spin.
- Tip your artist. It's a service like getting your hair cut, nails done, or anything else.
- Don't bring an entourage. One person to tag along to hold your hand or something is okay. Anything more is just annoying.
- Turn off your cell phone.
- Bath, and don't be drunk, high, or hungover. Eat something beforehand so you don't faint.


And that about sums it up. What a LONG, useless post for no reason, but I guess if it helps someone then it was worth it. :)